So Many Interviews...So Little Petrol

It seems that I overextended my budget a tad this month. The gas tank is empty. I have job interviews galore! But alas, no money for gas. The mileage money I get? I don't get it until the following month...
So I have to do what I haven't wanted to do in a long time. Well, scratch that-I always want to, but I refrain because I'm grateful. I pull out the emergency gas card that my dad pays the bill for, for a quick fill-up. Just this one time though!! I know he won't mind, but I'm supposed to be trying to do this on my own! The road to self-suffiency is not paid for with daddy's gas card...

Interview

I had an interview this morning. It was at a place where they do activities with developmentally disabled people. I've never done this kind of work before.

When I was married, my husband worked in a place like this. He had to quit after getting kicked in the head a few too many times. The doctor said one more concussion and he was a goner, so my then-husband found other work. I never thought much about it...after all, I myself wanted to kick him almost every day...I figured it was just him.

After the lady interviewing me asked me whether I'd pass a background check, of course, she told me about how violent these "clients" were, but then mentioned the words "worst-case scenario". After pretending to admire her Louis Vuitton knockoff of a handbag, I was outta' there!

Gotta' go call my ex and ask how his head is doing...

Did You Know You Can Do It In Jammies?

The amazing world of technology...I can sit at home at my computer in my pajamas, teeth unbrushed, hair not styled, and apply for employment!

Lots of companies have their own websites where one can fill out an application and submit right then. Beware, some have little tests you have to take. They try to trick you into answering the question in a bad way, but I'm onto them...

Multi-tasking

I can drop off resumes at Old Navy, Target, Macy's and Gottschalks and shop when I'm done filling out apps. See how efficient I am?

I am trying on dresses at Fashion Bug. Interview appropriate, I'm always thinking about job-readiness! These dresses all seem kind of large, but I know what size I am. Trust me, after losing half my backside, I am pretty measurement savvy. What is going on here?
Now I know how they getcha'!! In my opinion, it seems as though these dresses are all sized too large! I could go back to the racks and grab a dress where the label is a size smaller than my size, and delude myself into thinking I am skinnier than I actually am!!

Alright, so it was fun for a few minutes...until I realized the backlash that was going to happen at the next store where sizes were normal. There, I would just feel like I had gained a size, which would result in my already poor self-esteem taking a dip. Nuh-uh! Oh my gosh...I don't have to shop here anymore...I'm skinny enough now to shop in the regular departments of regular stores...

Hide-And-Seek

Ooh, goody. This is the part where we go off on our own to jobsearch. We've learned about resumes, interviews, follow-ups, all the good stuff. Four job contacts a day, mileage and childcare paid for. I can dig this whole 'compliance' thing.

The best thing? I recently lost forty pounds and need some new clothes. I sound so nonchalant, like eating nothing but salad and animal flesh for three months was so easy! HA! So I get to go buy some new clothes in smaller sizes, always a treat. Oh, shopping...I am in my element now. I am a great shopper. I know it sounds like I spend a lot, but I really don't. Bargain is my middle name...Broke Bargain Mom...

Get A Job!

Today we got to leave our little room and go to another room. This room was full of computers and printers. Our job today was to create a resume. WinWay Resume, chant it, it rhymes! The other welfare mommies seemed to know nothing about computers, so I got straight to work while they got a tutorial.
Old Guy looks over my shoulder and asks, "Where is your high school information listed?"
I tell him it's not. Further discussion ensues, seems that Old Guy doesn't see many college educated welfare mommies and doesn't understand that I can put a college down under education rather than high school. He finally gets it, whew!
Experience? Not much. I spent a few years as a preschool teacher in a state where you don't need ECE units to teach. Not so in sunny California! Which I commend...when I get a job, I don't want just any ol' teacher educating my children!
Ready for more club fun? I get to pick the paper I want my resume printed on! There are two choices, a linen looking grey or a watermark ivory. I am the last to choose, and I choose the linen. Old Guy says, "I knew you'd pick that one." Apparently the others all picked the ivory. Another psychic in the club!! Will wonders never cease...

Your Taxes Hard At Work!

I sure am having a fun time at this club! Sarcasm pretty thick here...
I gave in and started dressing like my fellow club members. Okay, well not exactly. My flip-flops match my shirt which match my purse. I'm a slave for fashion, what can I say?

So I sit here for six hours a day, listening to this old guy talk about his old jobs and his old coworkers and how much fun it's going to be once I am off welfare. Right.

One welfare mommy turned around to me today and said, "Can I borrow your calculator?"
I was in awe. How did she know that I did indeed have a calculator in my purse??!!
I asked her. She said I just look like the type to carry a calculator with me.
Wha??

I get out of my superfun club early, so I decide to go shopping. Mervyn's is having a great shoe sale...but while I am trying on shoes, I am compelled to stare at women who look nice and coordinated, who remind me of...well, me. I stare...and I wonder...does she have a calculator in her purse?!

Mommy Cannot Stay With You Today!

Oh, my children are so very sad. I cannot take them to the park to play. Such great playground etiquette-we go down the slide, never up! We cannot drive to the library and search for non-sexist stories in the children's section. When my youngest doesn't want to hear a story about a boy, she has me change all the "he's" to "she's". I'm so proud...my little feminist!
We cannot go to the museum. And it's such a deal, we bought a season pass! Paid for itself in only three visits..
No nature walks, no recycling trips.
Mommy cannot stay with you today. Mommy's gonna' get a job!

Who's Got Skills?

Let's talk about job skills! Who's got 'em?
"Do you know how to type?"
How does one answer this question? A simple yes or no just won't do. You see, of course I can type! I can sit down at the computer and type whatever I want. But I have to look at my hands. Can I do that cool typist thing where I stare off at the screen while my hands go seventy-words-per-minute, or however they do that?
No. Apparently, my typing is not up to par. Ooh, now I'm jealous, there's a girl who can super-type.
Lacking skills....

First Day of Job Club

Uh...I don't think this club is going to be much fun. I get to sit in a tiny room from 8:45 AM until 3:00 PM and listen to this old man talk about getting a job.

Of course I want to get a job, or I wouldn't be here, right? It seems that this club is mandatory for incoming welfare moms, (welfare people? Where are the welfare dads?) and some of the others seem upset that they had no choice to be here.

I look ridiculous. Well, I actually look pretty good, but I certainly feel silly. I was told I had to be dressed "interview-ready". So I am wearing my black top and my new Old Navy white peasant skirt, small black heels, and an adorable black and white scarf. I am interview ready!!

But the other girls must be interviewing at, um, other places, because they got to all wear jeans and flip-flops. Not fair!

On the road to self-sufficiency

I don't want to be on welfare anymore. I've decided that living off the government is not something for me. I think I'll try to find a job!
Talked to my caseworker--in order to access services for jobseekers, I have to be what's called "compliant". Apparently, I haven't been in compliance for the past two years. I was going to college and finishing my AA degree, but the government doesn't count my education as something worthwhile...I should have been WORKING instead!
Let's see...go to college so I can find a great job afterwards and never have to live off the system again OR ignore college and work at a minimum-wage job/barely scrape by for the rest of my life. Hmm....
I get to go to something called 'Job Club'. Ooh boy, a club! I haven't been in a club since Campfire Girls in fourth grade!