I'm Listening To You

I hate listening to you. You talk about all these new people in your life. What will I do when I actually see you with someone new? Sure, it's okay for me to be with someone. And logically, it's okay for you to be with someone new. I see the look in your eyes. I know that you are tired, I know you feel defeated. I know you realize that you did this to yourself. But it doesn't stop me from wanting to shake you and tell you to get your shit together.
I will hate her. Whoever she is, whenever she shows up. She will never know the you that I know.
She will never see the you inside that I see.
She will never understand the you that I understand.
That she will touch the body that I touched will kill me. But it's not mine to touch anymore. To think that her touch will elicit the responses that my touch did...
I understand now why you hate him so much. How you can hate someone you don't even know. I hate someone who doesn't even exist yet.


I don't want a life with you any longer. So why is it so hard to let you go?

Washing and Drying. But Not Folding.

In the superfun magical world that I have recently had to visit all alone, called Laundry, I've met some new friends called Pockets. One must empty them before bad things happen.

Boys Are Stupid

Dating a guy is way different from dating a girl. There are drawbacks and advantages to both. For instance,
Girls always want to talk about the way they feel.
Guys very rarely talk about their feelings. They never ask, "How are you feeling?" When you get depressed, they ask, "What's up your butt?"
Nothing is up my butt. I'm just a little sad. Sorry you cannot handle that!
But sometimes it's nice to not worry about talking about feelings. Things are just what they are, no in-depth talks about emotions. Nice.
Boys have hairy faces and stinky feet. Well, I know some girls who do also, but I would never date them.
Boys go to their friend's house to buy something (not pot) and then won't come over like they said they would because they're too stoned. And they drive a motorcycle and they whine because it's too cold out. Boo-hoo. What the hell did you expect?

Uh-Huh Uh-Huh Uh-Huh

My house is still clean, la la la la la la.
Clean clean clean.

Ice Trays

Ice trays are not magical refilling containers. You actually have to fill them up with water once you've used the ice cubes, and that makes more ice cubes.
Who knew?

Home, Sweet Home

I did it.
I am in my own apartment, just me and my two kids.
I bought new towels and potholders and drinking glasses. I bought new sheets for my bed, a new comforter, and a new pillow.
I bought bottled water for my fridge.
If I make a mess, I know that I will have to clean it up later. That's comforting. So I just don't make a mess. Well, I clean it up right away so I don't have to later.
I can sleep in the middle of the bed, and roll over and not squish anyone.
My children are adjusting quite well.

Hex is telling people all sorts of stories about me to anyone who will listen, such as
I'm seeing someone new (this is true)
It's a guy (also true)
I ask her to babysit so I can see this guy (this is not true)
and so on and so on.
She talks shit behind my back and then calls and asks me for a favor. And what do I do? I do it. Why? I dunno'. My reason for splitting up with her was because there was this guy that she wouldn't get rid of. They were attached at the hip, she dragged him around everywhere with her, and she wouldn't let me be in the same room alone with him. She wouldn't let me talk to him. She told him that I wanted to sleep with him and get pregnant with his baby (this is not true). I'm not sure as to what else she told him, but knowing her track record, it was mostly lies. Hex couldn't tell the truth if it bit her on the ass.
And on that note, here's a toast to me, a woman who knows her own mind. A woman who refuses to live with a liar and a pothead and a thief, a woman who wants the best for her children, a woman who is finding herself under all this mess. And I'd like to quote a line from a favorite Ani song,
"I am an all-powerful Amazon warrior, not just some snivelling girl."
That's me.