What's Been Going On

I filed a Dissolution of Domestic Partnership at my local courthouse in May. The clerks did not know how to file it. "We've never had one of these!" said the clerk.

Hex filed for visitation rights to see my children. (Why? Because I won't let her see them.) We went to court about it yesterday, and among the more confusing statements out of Hex's mouth was this: "She won't let me see the girls because she says it's too hard to see me because she misses me!" Or some crap to that effect. Miss her? Hmm...I don't miss the sex, because I'm currently getting better. I don't miss the smoking, constant pot begging from friends, whining, lying, cheating, comments from the neighbors about why can't she leave them alone, over-emotional over-analyzing of everything, because it all annoyed me.
I won't let her see my daughters because she's not a good person. Maybe deep down inside, you say? Nah. I've figured out the reasons why I was with her for years...and let's just say, it wasn't due to her charming personality.

So we were referrred to mediation. I called to make my mediation appointment today. The conversation went like this:
Me: "Hi, I'd like to make my court-referred appointment for mediation!"
Clerk: "Okay, what's the father's name?"
Me: "Uhhh...no father?"
Clerk: "OH. You must be BrokeMom!"
Me: "Why yes, yes I am. Have you guys ever been through anything like this?"
Clerk: "Nope! This is groundbreaking for us!"

So, apparently this is the first same-sex divorce/visitation case they've ever had in this county. Which I think is kinda' cool. But rethinking it, maybe not. It means they'll do everything by the book and research other cases, etc. This will set precedence for any other case like this!
Go lesbian moms! This could be a step for equal rights all around!

Um, yeah. Except for the fact that I don't want my daughters around a psycho trailer-trash lying thieving bitch, everything would be great.

But I'll let you know how things go.

After Work Music

"Pieces"
From the moment that we met
My world was turned around,
upside down.
To some degree I still regret
my memory for keeping you around.
Girl I thought that you were mine,
but my broken heart's been shattered
one too many times.
And I don't want to see you anymore.
I'm just not that strong.
I love it when you're here,
but I'm better when you're gone.
I'm certain that I've given and oh how you can take,
There's no use in you looking,
there's nothing left for you to break.
Baby please release me
Let my heart rest in pieces.

Someone let you down again
So you turn to me
Your convenient friend.
Oh but I know what you're doing
And what you hope to find
I've seen it a thousand times.
Oh the fire we had before
are now just bitter ashes
left scattered on the floor.
rascal flatts

Lookit, Lookit!

Look what I got! Finally. I'll tell you the history on why this is so momentous...but I have to go play the piano right now...

Morning Music

"And I never tried to give my life meaning by demeaning you,
and I would like to state for the record I did everything that I could do.
I'm not saying I am a saint, I just don't want to live that way.
No, I will never be a saint, but I will always say,
Squint your eyes and look closer, I'm not between you and your ambition.
I am a poster girl with no poster, I am thirty-two flavors and then some."
ani difranco

Not Bored. Nope, Not Me.

I cleaned my garage today.
Did you fall out of your chair?

New.s.

New apartment.
New job.
New friends.
New boyfriend.
New activities. (New camping gear, whoo-hoo!)
New problems.
Is it any wonder that not many people hear from me?
No.
But what is strange, is that my friends who are just as busy as I am, (and by this I mean the ones with a career and/or children) seem to understand that we are only going to get to touch base a few times out of the month. And they're okay with this, because they have new.s. too.
I am setting up my life for the rest of it. And for those of you who don't hear from me much anymore...I'm doing a damn fine job of it.

Paper Doll

Paper doll
flimsy body torn in half
one side yearning to be good
the other, wanting so bad
to just be the girl who wants to be
paper doll.
Her face is one big ink smear
tears and dirty fingerprints
have smudged
into confusion
what wanted to be there.
Paper doll
taped up the middle in a new house
will continuously look down
at the wounds
and wonder if she'll ever be whole.

Outdoor Girl

Found a swimmin' hole and went swimmin'. Climbed over rocks and got dirty, yee-haw. It's like there's a whole world outdoors that I forgot about!

Don't Apply Spray Sunscreen After Shaving Your Legs

I went floating down the river today in a raft with my boyfriend and a cooler full of beer. We had some friends with us in their raft, which happened to have a leak in it. In their leaky raft was an air pump that didn't work.
Needless to say, I am home now, slightly sunburned, yet all intact.
I had a great fucking time.
No, seriously.