Boozin' It Up

I have never gone shopping while intoxicated. I asked my friends, "Do you go shopping drunk?" Negative answers ensued.
I am so surprised by the drunken morons I see where I work. Okay, well, I've only seen three, but that's averaging to about one per week.
I think they're just being kinda' weird, you know? Dorky, trying to hard with the jokes, maybe a a speech impediment (??), that sort of thing. Then they get a little closer to me and speak, and I almost keel over from the alcohol fumes!!
But the saddest part of this whole thing? When they're done shopping, they get into their cars and drive away. Drunk. It makes me sick...