Morons, All Of You!

A woman paird for a $16.40 purchase with a twenty dollar bill and some change. She gave me a dime and two shiny new nickels. Have you seen these new nickles? They don't look like nickels...quite offputting at first. Anyhow, I repeated back to her just like I'm supposed to, "Twenty dollars and twenty cents?" and she replied "Uh-huh" rather distractedly, because she was blabbing on the the person in line behind her. I put the money in my drawer and gave her her change.
She freaked out. "I gave you a quarter so that you wouldn't give me all of this change!" she shrieked.
I replied, "No ma'am, you gave me a dime and two nickels."
Her: "Oh no, I know what I gave you, it was a quarter!" Then she turns to the woman she was talking to and says, "This is why I sold my retail business and got out."
Another Something I Did Not Say Aloud-"Why, because you cannot tell the difference between a NICKEL AND A QUARTER??!!!

I know that I am not supposed to argue with the customer, but the customer is not always right! I am not going to get myself a write-up for having a short drawer when I would swear on my new panty size that she did not give me any fucking quarters!
I tell her that if she would like to leave her name and number, at the end of the day when my drawer is counted out, she will be called if the vault finds any discepancies.
She says it's not worth it and stalks off.

Bitch. My drawer balanced to the penny, by the way.