Thought You Should Know

In May I had a sinus infection. I get them all the time. I've learned to deal with them naturally, meaning no meds. I'm not a person who likes to take pills and medicines. I'd much rather not take anything, but I'm certainly not opposed to in ibuprofin for a headache and some Tums for heartburn, little stuff. I absolutely hate to take antibiotics. I have developed a love/hate relationship with a Neti Pot to deal with the sinus infections. It's awkward but it works. This is where it all started.

I had just finished using the pot and was looking in the mirror. There was a smudge in my line of vision. I walked out of the bathroom into the hall and the smudge in my right eye was still there. Everywhere I looked with my eye was obscured. I took of my glasses and cleaned them, put em back on...smudge!

It just got worse over the next few weeks. The smudge was sometimes darker, colors were different...like one eyeball was shaded. A television screen a shade too dark. Offputting, yes. Irritating, yes. It was Summer and I live where it gets HOT. Northern California. Summers can get up to 115 degrees, sometimes even more. It was hot outside and for some reason every time I went outside in the heat I got SO FRICKIN TIRED that I could barely function. It was almost like I was drugged I was so tired. But guess what? As soon as I cooled down, I was fine. Normal me. There was also the embarassing problem with going to the bathroom. All of a sudden, if I had to pee then godammit go go go gotta go right now hold moly kinda pee it was. I'll admit it, Internet. I peed myself one time.

I went to my Eye Doctor. She sent me to a Better Eye Doctor. Better ED was very pleasant, took the time and effort and tests into helping to figure out why my vision was different. He told me that everything was fine in my eye, which basically meant it was behind my eye that was the potential problem. And here it is, what changed at that moment in my life. It's as if now the globe just sort of...tilted a little on its axis...but of course, it was nothing. Sitting in Better ED's office, he mentions that I should go have an MRI. I really hate the idea of big metal clicky-clacky things radiating my brain for pictures, so I told him I would think about it. He told me that I was the right age and sex (female in her 30s) and we lived in the right place and that I might have Multiple Sclerosis.

I went to my GP for a physical and for bloodwork to rule out anything abnormal. Turns out I had a severe Vitamin D deficiency and everything else was fine. I gave up drinking coffee, switching to herbal tea. I gave up artificial sweetners and alcohol. I waited and waited for my vision to get better, to feel better. It didn't. It seemed like my vision just kept getting worse, but really, it wasn't getting better. Not worse. But not better.

So I went and had an MRI done. It was not scary, the nurses covered up my toes so I wasn't cold, blah blah blah. No big deal. I tried not to think about what was being directed towards my wonderful brain tissue. It wasn't a bad experience but I would rather not have to do it again. Eventually the results were given as my wonderous brain has lesions on it. Lesions! Even the word sounds nasty. Diseased. Not happy. Fucking lesions on my brain.