Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Perverted Phone Call

The phone rings today at about 11am. Caller ID reads'Privacy Manager' (a service where I can screen my calls, basically). My girlfriend answers the phone, thinking that it's one of her relatives in the hospital again. (Don't ask)
On the other end of the line, we hear this guy. He is talking to someone (not us!) on another phone, and he is being dirty. Oh yes, dirty. He's obviously, uh...touching a certain part of his anatomy and describing a scene that he is watching to someone on the phone. Well, three someones including us.
Always a girl who appreciates a healthy (ahem) personal life, I listen on and off with my girlfriend for about ten minutes, until he's getting close to being...all done. Then I start pushing buttons on the phone and my girlfriend yells, "Hey pervert! Hello? Hey you!"
We hear him say, "Hang on, there's something wrong with my other phone."
And he answers us!
"Uhhh....hello? Is someone there?"
Yeah, I'd say so.
We tell him yes, there is someone there. He asks who.
My girlfriend says, "You should know who, you called me!"
Further conversation ensues about how long we've been listening. He tells me to hold on, and can hear him tell the person on his other phone that he has to go.
We want to know if he's someone that we know who called us accidentally, so we ask him his name. His name is Dan and he's thirty. He says he lives in Sacramento. His story was he was watching his roommate do the deed in the backyard with somebody, and Dan was describing the situation to his female friend on the phone while getting frisky. Apparently he tried to call his friend on his cell first, but then hung up and used the regular phone. Well, tried to hang up anyway!
My girlfriend, being the mischievious sort, tells him, "You just called two lesbians and whacked it on the phone! Good thing we weren't your mother, huh?"
I take the phone from her before she can lecture him about the evils of cell phones, and he says, "Aw man, I can't believe I did this! How did-? What the-? girls are lesbians?"
Just like a man. I tell him that yes, we are lesbians, but that is not the issue right now.
Then he asks if we could help him finish!
He was nice and polite about it, but still. I told him I'd have to know him a little better before that happened. (Yeah, right.)
Anyway, he needed to finish and we needed to get our daughter from preschool, so I told him to give me his email address and that I'd send him a hot picture of us so he could tell all of his friend what happened. (What a sweetie I am!)
End phone call. What a way to start a day, huh?

No comments: