Friday, June 30, 2006

Brace Yourself

My daughters are away on visitation to their dad's 430some miles away. This means that my days are a little different. I sleep in about 30 minutes longer in the mornings, go to work, come home, and that's it. No, it gets worse.
There's nothing for me to do. No dinner to make, no one to tuck in or sing to, nobody to yell to, "Stop getting a drink and get your butt in bed!"
I was bored this evening when I got home.
Those of you that know me well had better grab a chair or something...
I scrubbed my kitchen floor. Oh yes, I did. On my hands and knees with a scrubby brush thing.

Because it's sure as hell not going to scrub itself. Now is it.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

What She Said About Sex

I have a friend who told me something interesting one day. This was when I was trying to get over Hex, and after I was done lamenting about how good the sex was, and will it ever be good again with somebody else blah blah blah, my friend K told me this:
"Of course it will be good with someone else. It will be better sex than sex with Hex!"
(Does anyone else feel like reading Dr. Suess?)
So I wailed on about how nothing could ever top it and a load of other crap (do you see where this is going?) and K told me, "It just keeps getting better and better with other people." And I asked after that comment if that meant I should just slut it up until I died from orgasmic bliss, but she didn't seem to find that amusing. Huh. But she did tell me after that, something to the effect of...well, basically I think she meant that when I care about the person I'm with and not just "getting laid", then the sex will be as good as it is.
(Crap, now we're reading Alice in Wonderland...)
She was right. Which is freaking me out. I was always about the whole, "Oh, sex is sex. Love doesn't have to be involved. Orgasms are good." Which, to a point, is certainly true. And I know the Hex Sex was good because love was involved. But I knew that I was going to fuck other people. I would never have done it behind her back, which is one of the reasons why we are no longer together, but I wanted to sleep with other people. She didn't like it sometimes, but it was important to me. I didn't believe in monogamy.
When I thought it couldn't get any better, I was wrong. Way wrong. Wrong enough to admit it here in print.
I did start having sex with him on a purely physical basis. I thought he was hot and I wanted to fuck him, good. Great. But now I am seeing the appeal of a monogomous relationship <gasp!> with someone for a good long time. I don't feel the need anymore to spout my Monogomy Sucks Speech. Am I growing up? Sideways? What in the hell is happening here??!! It's kinda' scary.

Happy Trails To Me

We went camping this weekend. We being me, my two daughters, and my boyfriend. (And I have to admit, it is still weird to say that word, but I am trying...)
It was my five year old's very first camping trip. She absolutely loved it. She was an angel the entire time. I now know how to make her do what I say; allow her to sleep in a tent and eat marshmellows off of a dirty stick. She did tell us on the way up to the campsite, "We forgot to pack the shelf and the TV." As I don't let her watch much television, I have to assume she was kidding...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Trust and Other Issues

I was a control freak the past few years. I'll admit it. Sometimes, I'm sure I seemed quite psychotic. But I figured out that I was controlling because I didn't trust the person in my life. I tried to control everything Hex did because there was absolutely no trust in the relationship.
She lied to me, repeatedly, every day. She stole from me; money, jewelry, my self-respect. She cheated on me with my ex-husband. (Probably more than once with multiple people, but we'll leave that alone...) I didn't trust her, so I tried to control every little thing that I could so I'd feel like I was in charge of my life. But I wasn't.
Being in a relationship with another person has opened my eyes to a lot of different things I didn't see before. I thought I was just a controlling person. But I see now, that's not the case. I am perfectly happy not being in control, as long as I have trust. It is a glorious feeling to have unconditional trust in someone. I don't worry about my boyfriend (eek, I called him my boyfriend!) going out, because I know he'll be doing exactly what he said he would be doing. He comes home when he says he will, and if he's going to be late, he calls. If he says he'll "take care of it", whatever it might be, I know he will. I know he loves me, so I'm not worried when I have a "low self-esteem" day. He's there to hug me and tell me it will be better. And you know something? I believe him. How nice to have faith in someone again...

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The Gossip Mill Goes Round and Round

Hex called me today. Apparently, there is a "rumor" going around that I am pregnant. This sounds strange to me, mostly because I don't talk to anyone anymore. Nope, too busy to have friends! Is it possible that someone unnoticed saw me and reported to Hex that I looked preggo? I mean, I have gained a little weight, but sheesh!
My other thought is that she was just making it up to have a reason to keep me on the phone a little longer.
In any case, it's a tad bothersome to hear that people allegedly think I'm pregnant, because I take my Pill regularly. Religiously! AND I just bought a truck that has no chance in hell of accommodating a carseat! When I bought the truck, I weighed out my options on the whole "baby" thing. I decided that I was not going to buy a truck and get rid of it later for another MommyMobile, so if I bought the truck, I was deciding not to have any more children. I was deciding that my children's "sibling unit" was complete.
So, for those of you reading who share with others, I'm not pregnant. Just fat. And I love my truck.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Joint Custody

Are things getting serious when you and the person you're dating start owning stuff together?
Together, we planted these...

And together, we take care of this little guy...

What is it about a man cuddling a kitten that makes me all gooey inside?

More Things I Learned at Work

When it comes to 'earned income', selling drugs and prostitution count. After all, you're providing a service and getting paid for it.

Things I Learned at Work

If you are highlighting a document (because you can) with a bright yellow highlighter, and then you wish to use white-out correction tape over said highlighted areas (again, because you can), the trick is to wait until the highlighter is dry before you put white-out over it. Which takes much longer than one would think.

Clueless People

You call someone who you used to have a relationship with, be it friendship or whatever. They're not home, so you leave a message on the answering machine.
No one returns your call.
You call again, talk to the answering machine.
No one calls you back.
A few days later, you call again, leave another message.
No one calls you back.
You might email the person, but you get no response.
So you wait a day or two and call again, again leaving a message.
No one calls you back.
Does anyone see a pattern here, hmmm?

If you don't see a pattern here, congratulations! You are a Clueless Person. Now stop calling me.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Hell Froze Over Today

I got my very first child support check in the mail today! I was shocked. Awed. Not that it was voluntary, they garnished his wages...but still. For the first time in five years, I have child support. I do believe that I am still in shock.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Unidentified Object

Someone at my house had a birthday. This is what I made for the birthday. If you can guess what kind of cake it is, I'll give you a prize.