Thursday, November 30, 2006


Today I helped an eighteen-year-old girl get Welfare Healthcare so she could terminate her pregnancy without her parents knowing.

Today I helped a young couple get Welfare Healthcare so that the pregnant woman could go to an OB.

Today I helped an elderly disabled woman get food stamps because she lives in a motorhome in someone's driveway on $355 a month.

Today I helped a twenty-year-old boy get Welfare Healthcare so that he could get surgury on his leg, which was broken in four places, and eventually go back to work.

Today I answered the phone twelve times.

Today I took four messages.

Today I saw an old friend at the Welfare Office and I said "hi".

Today I visited the copy machine ten times.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Working With The Public

The people who come and apply for welfare are called 'clients'. The clients fill out an application and then see an intake worker (me) and go through an 'interview'.
Paperwork, computer entry, more paperwork, question-and-answer time, end of 'interview'.
That's how it goes, every day. Three to four interviews a day. I meet some interesting people.

Today, I met a client employed where I used to work. I got to ask her about all the gossip I've missed since I quit. Then I had a horrible coughing fit all over her. Welfare Healthcare time!

My last client of the day cracked me up. He told me, "They told me to lie about what I have, but I'm not a liar, so I have a bank account in Nevada. Should I have not told you that? What would you do if I didn't tell you? Can you find out that stuff?"

First off, I asked him who the "they" was that told him that.
"Some girl," he told me.
I then told him that it was always better to tell the truth, most of what clients lie about doesn't matter anyway, and yes of course I can find out that stuff. He relaxed a little. And then began asking more questions about being truthful! I finally told him that it would be better for him to tell the truth and see how it affects him, rather than go to jail for perjury. Then we had a little talk about Welfare Fraud.
When I'm done with the interview, I give him a paper that he needed signed by his roommate.
He asks me, "Do they really have to sign this? How would you know? Can't I forge it?"

Why are so many compelled to be truthful about lying?

Here's The Mail, It Never Fails, It Makes Me Wanna' Wag My Tail

As of the first of December, I have the status of a single person. Not single as in one, single as in not in a legally binding contract with Hex.
When I got the papers in the mail today, my overall feeling was one of relief, I guess. Not happy, not sad. I promised myself I wouldn't blog about Hex. I don't cry over it any longer. I cry because Little J misses Hex's daughter, Angela, but there's no way to get them together without Hex herself being there in some way, and that will happen when Hell itself freezes. So I might have let out a "whew" when checking the mail. A small one, but nevertheless.
And I know that with each beginning of an end, the end of a beginning has happened. I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. Too heartless, one might question? A mother, protecting her young...mothers understand.
I wonder what I'll get in the mail tomorrow?

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

10 Things I Like

1. The color green.
My sheets are green. So is the bedspread. I wear green a lot. My bathroom has green towels, as does the kitchen. Green throw rug, green throw pillows. Green lantern, green toothbrush, green socks, green ceramic planters. I could go on all night.

2. Caramel
Mmm...caramel in ice-cream, in coffee, apple pie, cake, whatever. But not on fruit.

3. Daisies
These are my favorite flower.

4. Items shaped like Leaves
Leaf plates, leaf bowls, little leaf votive holders, tablecloths, whatever. They're all so darn cute.

5. Tattoos
I notice them, constantly think about them, watch shows about them, design my next one in my head.

6. Diet Dr. Pepper
I drink a lot of this every day.

7. Sword Swallowing
Seriously, I watched a chick do this and it kinda' turned me on. And then that was gross. Which made it all the more intriguing.

8. Stickers
I don't like to use them, because that would be wasting them. I like to hoard them.

9. Dirty Jobs
This show is freakin hilarious.

10. Drew Barrymore
She was my first crush, before I even knew what a girl-crush was.

Monday, November 27, 2006

If I Had...

... a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning. I'd hammer in the evening, all over this land.

... any more snot coming out of my nose, you could visit BrokeMom's Snot Factory.

... some walnuts, I'd make banana bread. But I wouldn't eat it, because that's gross.

... more energy, I would do some laundry. I have enough energy to go out to the laundry room, yet, I don't do any laundry while I'm out there.

... a pad of magnetic paper on the fridge, I'd write down:
vacuum bags
granola bars and fruit snacks
lots of other food
smelly candles
paper towels

... a million dollars, I would buy you a green dress. But not a real green dress, that's cruel.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Things I Think We Are Thankful For

Brokemom: my family, my career, DayQuil and NyQuil (they are my best friends right now), thunderstorms, Kleenex (also on my top 10), friends both previously and recently acquired, conveniently-located coffee shops, internet shopping, and pineapple-orange juice.

Big J: the Disney channel, popular people, lip gloss, fake nails, family and pets, her cell phone (which is real but not active, it doesn't work and never will), telephones, the internet, and The Sims.

Little J: fruit snacks, stray cats, coloring books, ant spray, family, "Vitamin Juice" to keep her healthy, and the dinosaurs in her heart.

Hope everyone had a Merry Thanksgiving. Me and two of my best friends are going to bed.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Jelly Eyeball Candy

This picture serves two purposes, the first, to mention how gross these gelatinous eyeball candy things that Little J got Halloween night are. They smelled good, but they were awful.
The second purpose is to squint really hard. If you turn on a bright light and squint, you will see the space in Little J's lower teeth wear there used to be a tooth. Her first tooth. The one that was so loose, I begged and pleaded and bribed and bribed some more for her to let me tug it out. Then one morning, it was gone.
"Where did it go?" I asked. "Did you swallow it?"
She assured me that she had not swallowed it, but we all know what happened, don't we?

Tribute To October

My pumpkin from this year was the best I've ever done, and it meant more because this was the first year I've ever really tried. Big J carved the pumkin on top, and the stars are Little J's contribution. Notice the mold inside the pumpkins. I waited a while to get up off my ass and grab the camera.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

More Reasons Why I Love My Job

Reason #5820:: It's called "prudent worker judgement". And I can have it any day, any time. If I don't believe a client about where they live, who they live with, or any other myriad of things, I can send out the Welfare Police to check out the situation. And then I get to read a written report about what happened.

Friday, November 10, 2006

A New Start with Kicks

I was sent a credit card application in the mail. Just for kicks, I opened it. It said I was pre-approved for some card or another. Just for kicks, I went to the credit card website and accepted.
Now, when I was younger, I had good credit. Any department store card I applied for I received. This was ultimately bad. Very, very bad. I was not responsible enough for credit cards. As a result, my credit ended up not so good. Not, not good.
I didn't understand the benefits of having credit. I was turned down by apartments I wanted to live in because of my credit history. No department store cards. (Not that I would have wanted them---I understand the process of buying things one can afford now.) My insurance rates were higher at certain companies because of my credit history. I pretended I didn't care, that I didn't want those things, but I did. I wanted to have the option at least!
When I had to have my father co-sign on my truck loan, I understood. Hell, I was thrilled that they even let my name be on the application! Apparently with the passing of time, creditors have again decided that I am worthy of the risk again, because I really was accepted.
To have good credit again? I see the path of my future, and it's a good one. It seems as though it's in steps. First, I had to have the education. Then I got a job. I was self-sufficient, paying my bills, every bill, on time. Then, a better job. With the income, I bought the vehicle I wanted. With the nice pay increases comes the knowledge that one day I will be able to afford my own home. My own home.
So I am all the more knowing. All the more responsible. The day that I stood up and said, "I want to get off welfare and fucking do something!" was the biggest step, the smartest step, that I could have ever taken. I've got not-so-bad credit!
Just for kicks.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Notes from Work

If you are applying for Welfare Healthcare (say it with me, it rhymes) with your disabled husband that you got back together with to try to get better Welfare Healthcare (which doesn't really exist) you'd best make sure that his big fancy truck doesn't put you over property because then you get treated like wife-garbage for nothing.

Something Old, Something New

I'm getting married on July 12th, 2007. I would really like to get married October 22nd. But I'm wanting a more "outdoorsy" thing, so October is kinda' chilly. Not that 115-degree heat in July is much better. But July 12th is the day we met, so we though it would be (gag) cute if we got married (retch) then.
The thought of getting married is exciting. The thought of a wedding scares the shit out of me. People watching me, wanting to talk to me, being the center of attention...sharing that moment with extra extra people...I don't know if I want that. I've been thinking about that a lot lately.
After my first marriage, when Ex and I were separated and living in different states, I was with Hex. I would not wear her ring on my finger until I was actually divorced. Okay, so it wasn't an all that attractive piece of jewelry, but still, it was the symbolism behind it. I felt as though I couldn't wear someone else's ring on my finger while still legally bound to another.
It was different this time. When Fiance opened up that tiny box on bended knee, I wasn't thinking about pieces of paper or past commitments, I was thinking, "Oh shit, he reallydoeswannaspendhislifewithmeohmygodholyshitthisisglorious" and then I was crying and I felt ecstatic. And I let him put that ring on my finger and that was that.
My dissolution of domestic partnership will be final very soon. I am glad, so very relieved, that it will all be over soon. But you know, when I found out a year after the fact that two days before Hex and I signed our DP, she had given Ex a blowjob?? Well, it was like the DP didn't mean anything, since Hex had gone into it falsly. It took a lot away from how special I thought it was. So I am not sad per-say. I am a little quieter. More thoughtful lately, thinking about the end of a beginning, and the beginning of--well, not the end in an ominous way, but the beginning of something so wonderful, something so full of hope and faith, I don't think I can share that moment in front of people. So it might just have to be a small wedding.
Like, three people only.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Operation Ass-Shrinking

My blasted diet is not working. Probably because I can't manage to stay on the damn thing. I try to do the whole no/low carb thing, but I get sloppy. Hungry. Whatever. I get to thinking, "Oh, I could eat this apple. It's a fruit carb. And fiber! That's good for me."
And an apple turns into a slice of low-carb bread. The low-carb bread turns into regular bread and lunch meat. Before you know it, the kids find me huddled in the closet of a dark room, surrounded by cookie crumbs and It'sIt wrappers with chocolate smeared all over my face.
It's not pretty.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

What Irks/Angers/Saddens Me

If you are homeless and have no income, you might be eligible for food stamps.

If you are staying with friend/lover/parent in a home/apartment/car and have no income due to laziness/disability/circumstance, you might be eligible for food stamps.

If you have just gotten out of prison for being a sex offender/car thief/drug-user, you might be eligible for food stamps.

If you are a full-time college student living off of student loans, you are ineligible for food stamps.
What is wrong with the government today? Never mind, don't answer that question.

Dead Brides and Jellybeans

They came up with this by themselves. I was just an onlooker, really. And a balloon blower-upper.