Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Please please please

I took Little J to the eye doctor the other week. He recommended a specialist, as there were "white floaty things" in the gel of her eye. He thought it might be this disease where later in life the retina detaches from the eye. As this runs in my family, I was dismayed, but not overly concerned.
We went to the specialist. He confirmed that it was not this disease. He did have a lot of questions, however, on head trauma.
Yes, head trauma. Apparently, whatever he saw in the dilation of my youngest daughter's eyes prompted him to speak out on Shaken Baby Syndrome. Whatever he saw in my child's eyes...he recognized as trauma from being shaken.
This is extremely difficult to write. As a mother, the thought of anyone hurting my child, or any child for that matter, but especially MY child...well, I want to kill them. I want to beat them with a baseball bat and stab them with burning hot pokers. I am sure I could get more creative if I were to let myself.
Little J has no other symptoms, no learning disabilities diagnosed as of yet, and if she was shaken as an infant, it was not enough to cause any noticable emergency-room-type signs. I don't know who, I don't know when, but I am begging you to educate yourselves and your family members.
Please. Click on the link, and read about what you can do to stop this from happening, and why it happens in the first place. If you tell one person, just one...you could save another family from this.

Monday, September 25, 2006

There's No Crying At The Eye Doctor

I got my first pair of glasses when I was nine years old.
I got my first pair of contacts at thirteen. When I put them in at the eye doctor's office, I cried. To be able to see clearly, without hardware on my face, was an emotional thing for me.
I switched back to glasses when I was eighteen. I was a new mother, the contacts were uncomfortable, and too much fuss.
Today, at twenty-seven years of age, I put in a pair of contacts. I didn't cry. I covered my eyes and peeked through my fingers...something I cannot do with glasses. I walked to the mirror, and looked at my face.
For the first time in almost ten years, I could see my face clearly without glasses on. It's how my fiance sees me in the morning. It's how my daughters see me in the middle of the night if they need me. But it's not how I see me.
I came home to put on some eyemakeup. I grabbed my eyeliner pencil and reached up to take my glasses off. I proceeded in almost poking myself in the eye, being so used to taking those glasses off.
Those of you with perfect eyesight take it for granted. You don't know how it feels to wake up in the morning and open your eyes, rub the sleep from them, and everything is still fuzzy. To have to squint and fumble for the right bottle of shampoo in the shower. To have to stand two inches away from the mirror in the morning to put on makeup.
Here I am with my contacts in. You've seen me before without my glasses, but now, I'm smiling because I can see you, too.


I am now going to the Mall, where I will try on pair after pair of sunglasses. Why? Because I never have.

And Boy, Are My Arms Tired!

I played softball yesterday. No, not by myself. (I know what some of you were thinking--you can't deny it.)
I played a softball game with some people from work. Let's remember that I haven't played in well over ten years. Try, ummm...thirteen years!
But it was fun, and I didn't pull any muscles. Hooray!

Monday, September 18, 2006


It turns out that the idea of the baby mice versus the actuality of the baby mice are far too difficult to experience. Because I'm a softie. And to watch that snake devour this tiny, squeaking, scared baby mouse just made me cry and cry and cry. And I had to go outside. To cry some more. Yeah, yeah, the whole food-chain thing, whatever.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Hi Honey, How Was Your Day?

We now own a snake. A Snow Corn Snake. It will eat little baby mice. I'm not sure how I feel about that. And the pillowcase is just cool.

Monday, September 11, 2006

The Engaged Zone

It's like the Twilight Zone...but different. All of a sudden, there are so many things to think about! People are asking me all sorts of questions, and I haven't even thought of them, much less know how to answer them!

"When is the wedding?"
Holy crap people, can I get used to being engaged first?

"Are you going to take his last name?"
I seriously just got my own last name back not so long ago, after my first marriage. Now I'm gonna' change it again?

And now I have to get used to the fact that what we buy today will be "ours" in the future. Not such a little thing for a selfish bitch like me. I like my stuff. I like my space.
I like my name!

Friday, September 08, 2006

I'm Showing You The Finger

Are you ready for my finger? Here it is... okay, so it's actually my hand. But it has something made of carbon and white gold on a very important finger.

I almost peed my pants. Pee-ed? Pee-ded-ed?

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Mrs. Blackeye and Mrs. Kissylips

It was makeover day at Grandma's house this weekend.

Shifts and Shifties

I have never been in prison, nor do I intend to go. So I'm not sure how they do things around there...but I'll wager a guess.
They (being The Prisons) must release the inmates in shifts. I've noticed that lately there have been more than a few recently released inmates applying for food stamps and medical benefits. That's all I had in my interviews one day last week, guys just released from prison. And it's not like they release them according to catagory, either. I had a Grand Theft Auto, an Incest, and a Drug Felon. Then another Drug Felon. And then a Fleeing Felon. It was like a convention of homeless parolees!
When I brought my theory up the other night to Boyfriend, he laughed. Laughed some more...sputtered the words "let them...shifts..hahasnortgarumph"...and finally choked to a stop. But I think I'm on to something.

What Are You Bringing?

Little J has a new favorite song. The song is "Sexyback" by Justin Timberlake. She wiggles her little hips and sings, "I'm bringin' sexy back...la la la la how to act...sexy back." While I was driving the girls to school the song came on the radio. Little J got really excited and started boppin' to the beat in the backseat of the truck. I told her, "Make sure you don't sing that song at school, it's not really appropriate."
Big J starts laughing. "Mom!" she says, "She sings it during afterschool care! And she dances!"

Well at least it's technically after school. Right?

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Something I Didn't Know

I just realized that I can control a man with sex.
Some of you are saying, "Well no kidding! She didn't know that?"
C'mon people, I was with a woman for the past four or five years! We women don't have to have sex all the time.
A man, however, I've noticed is different. Without "getting any", he is grumpy and irritating. If
he is, uh...satisfied, (I'm trying to make this as PG rated as I can), he does things like clean the house with me! And he's in a better mood! And he's more affectionate, eager to please...oh, the list goes on and on. Like a puppy, I give him his treats and he doesn't piss on my carpet!
Why didn't anyone tell me about this earlier?

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Who's Got The Spirit?

Apparently my oldest daughter does. Big J survived tryouts for Spirit Squad at her school and was one of the lucky ones to make it on the squad.
What is this Spirit Squad, you ask?
I have absolutely no idea. But they get to dance in front of the "whole school". Hooray!