Saturday, July 30, 2005

Buying In

Buy Dove products. Why? Well, I have used their products, and I'm satisfied, but that's not the reason. In our media-driven culture, where advertising comes from just about everywhere, notice the new Dove "Real Beauty" ad campaign.
Dove acknowledges that women have curves and bumps and ages. The ads are showing real women. Okay, so the campaign is for firming creams and stuff, which is kind of hypocritical and demeaning Oh, we know you really do want to look thinner of course you do who wouldn't? but it's a start. I am tired of it being shoved down my throat that I should wear a size two. I don't, and frankly, I would never want to. Some people think that since I am a "larger" girl (Size 14/16 actually, and proud of it! Especially since in February I was size 20. Atkins rocks.) What was I saying? Oh..that because I am larger, I am envious of the size two women, and since I cannot become them, I will hate them.
This is not the case.
I love the curves on my body. I sleep with women fercryin'outloud! I love curves on bodies! Who would want to make love to a skeleton?
America would like (and is succeeding) to make every man want to! Did you know that today's models are 24% thinner than their yesteryear sisters? America is becoming a nation of fat haters! Think of it...everything has become so inegrated. It is unlawful to discriminate on sex, race, sexual orientation, and all that other stuff! We're all like lemmings, following the pack, ready to segregate into higher/lower-better/worse societies. And in this day and age when being thin is so godamn popular, who do you think is gonna' get the worst of it?
Tirade over.

Anyhow, I realize that the media sucks. But the Dove ads are so wonderful to see, that yes, I will buy their products. Am I buying into advertising? Yup. Because we real women, yeah, those of us that having stretch marks from creating life, and a jiggly ass because we actually eat, and us that are comfortable with who we are...well, I would hope that our voices are heard.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

A Little Nothing

I was bored tonight after work. I was searching through different blogs, looking for ones that interest me, when I came across this really bad one. Seriously, this girl is nuts, with certifiable issues here. I only comment here, because I am going to check up on it now and then, just to see if she offs herself/kills someone else at any point. Yeah, eerily crazy in every posting!

I am looking excitedly towards payday. I enjoy paydays, especially around Back-To-School time. There are always such cute clothes for my kids on sale, and the new school year is a perfect, wonderful excuse for outfitting my children in cute stuff. And this is the time where my exhusband actually comes through monetarily. Listen to the Alleluia chorus Yes, that's right, friends. I maintain my "lifestyle" of clipping coupons without child support.
Which is sad.
Dammit. Do you see what reading PsychoGirl's nonsensical babblebullshit does to me? Wah wah, I'm all depressed and want to talk about nothing but my problems. Oh, and I highly suspect that she posts anon posts from herself just to start drama. Boy, am I worked up about this! Oh well, it will give me something to think about as I mindlessly scan people's consumer garbage into flimsy plastic sacks that rip 7 out of 10 times. Spilling paint onto the floor. Blast it.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Hi-Ho, Hi-ho

Tomorrow I have to go to work. Notice how quickly the 'I get' turns into the 'I have'. Whew, what's it been? Two weeks? At most?

My kids start in on me early. "Mommy, do you haaaaave to go to work?"
"But we'll miss you!"
My oldest daughter has resorted to a cute one, "Mommy, I want to learn how to do the laudry. You said you'd teach me! When can you teach me how to do the laundry?"
The strange thing is that she did ask me a few months ago if she could learn to do laundry. I think that I thought she was going to bug me for chore money, so I laughed it off. I think I really do need to start teaching her...I should ask my mother when I learned about that domestic stuff. My mother is way cleaner than me though. Almost OCD about it. Now that I look back, I remember a time where she forced me to vacume a particular area of rug in the house over and over until she said it was clean...
I am much more lenient about my housekeeping, uh, skills. My house is pretty clean. It's just that it's very disorganized and cluttered.
But it's a space issue, I swear! And a bit of a packrat problem. Combined with a shopping obsession...however, I did go shopping for plastic organizer/buckets yesterday. I'M TRYING.

I also have a job interview tomorrow morning. Eh, what was that? You thought that I was done with those trivial things?
No, this is for a county job with benefits that I applied for a while ago my welfare mommy income will quadruple thus leaving the ranks of the "low-income" that takes forever because over 200 people started out applying and we have to be systematically weeded through.
I'm a flower, dammit! A flower!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

It Knows What I'm Thinking

I was driving home from a friend's house after a lovely day of swimming and barbecuing. The children asked if we could stop and rent movies. I had a couple bucks, and the thought of the girls upstairs, quietly watching a movie while the downstairs was nice and quiet for me...well, movies were the plan. While we drive to the movie store, I am musing to myself, "Hmm...maybe I should get rid of this van and get something more gas-efficient. Something to think about..."
So we get to the movie store. The kids get out of the car. While we are walking past the front bumper, my eight-year old daughter points to the pavement under the car and says, "Mom, is that supposed to be happening?" bright green liquid supposed to be gushing from the bottom of my minivan that I've only had for a year??!!

Shit shit shit!
The nice movie store man lets me use the phone. I am trying to think of what to call. Not who to call, what. Of course I am going to call my dad. Sheesh! However, a few weeks ago, my Palm Pilot in which I stored yes, past tense all of my phone numbers decided to go dead on me, deleting every phone number I had.
After a couple of false starts, I finally get my dad on his cell phone. Yay, he's right around the corner and will come to the rescue!
Turns out I have a big hole in my radiator hose. And it being Sunday, the auto-part stores all close at 6pm.
My dad gives us a ride home. I get to ride in the back trunk space, as there are no more seats left. I have to leave the van there it the parking lot of the movie store.
Being stressed out, I feel like eating. I know, not good. But don't worry...I cannot go to the store. I don't have a car!!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Home Sweet Home

Twenty minutes onto the freeway to get home and what happens? A freakin' rock bounces off my windshield and puts a big chip in it! Augh!
And after a lovely nine hour drive, I'm on the home-stretch, I'm turning onto my street and-
KA-THUNK! KA-THUNKETY THUNK! went the underneath of the van. Did the van stop? Nooo. It slowed a little...a momentary pause, we'll call it. Parked, unpacked, everything seemed fine.
But then this morning as I was going to work, the van decided that there was a 'Door Ajar'. When there is a 'Door Ajar', the van makes an annoying dinging noise. Over and over, until the ajar door is firmly shut.
After firmly shutting every door and the trunk, I was confident that no doors were ajar.
Alas, the van did not agree with me.



Monday, July 18, 2005


While out of town, I bought myself a present. I bought the latest Harry Potter book. I told myself that I would savor the experience, that I wouldn't race through it like a Harry-starved bookworm...
well, it was a nice try. I finished it on the drive home (which I'll talk more about later.)
And now I want moooooooore!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

On The Road Again....

Aw'right. It is two in the morning, and we are leaving tomorrow to go out of town. We will be driving for about 8 hours. This would be all fine and dandy, except that...
I haven't packed yet!
What a procrastinator I am. Guess I'd better get on it.

Monday, July 11, 2005

New Hair!

Look, I'm a blonde!

I haven't been a blonde in a while. Years, actually. After I had my youngest daughter four and a half years ago, my hair turned this weird dark color.
I called it brown.
I went in to get my hair trimmed. I wanted some layers around my face. I know it's hard to tell, but the rest of my hair reaches well past my shoulders. See, if you look at the left side of the picture, you can see it kinda' hanging down. Hey I figured out how to post an image! The last time it was trimmed?
April 2004.
My hairdresser said yesterday that my hair is actually a dark blonde. Huh, go figure.
So then I told her to put some highlights in it. I was thinking it would be brown with some, uh, lighter brown streaks in it...but apparently she went a little highlight-crazy.

No matter! I love my new hair!

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Back To That Test

Those tests that they try to trick you with?

I told you I was on to them. On the customer service part I scored a 92%. Dependability? 97%.

My intelligence even amazes me sometimes...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Stuff They Don't tell You

They don't tell you when they offer you the job that there is a dress code. They wait until you have sat through half of your orientation, and then they tell you that there are

I'm not takin' it out, no ma'am. There is no way I am going to give up my beloved piercing for 20 hours a week at seven bucks an hour. So now I have to borrow some money from someone Mom are you there?, and try to find a clear eyebrow barbell.
Do those even exist? They've got to, I'm sure that I'm not the only employee who wants to slip past the whole 'dress code thing'.


Tuesday, July 05, 2005

It's Off To Work I Go...Eeny Meeny Miny Mo?

Well, I got two job offers. Okay, one depends on if I pass that pesky pee test, but I'm not worried...because I got two offers! I knew all this whining was doing something! Now, I have to decide where to work! I might just try to work at both places, since they're both only part-time. Hopefully these new managers will work with me on coordinating my hours yeah right.. Or maybe I'll like one place better than the other..

Lesee, HD offered me a pretty good starting wage and a raise after 90 days.
SK, however, offered a lower wage but a better position. Ooh, I bet I get a discount! Which might be bad, because then I would just be working to shop...which would be the best job get paid to go shopping...
It's a toss-up for now.

I think I'll sleep on it.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Spending Those Tramp Stamps

Imagine this if you will:
It's the first part of the month. All the welfare mommies and daddies get their checks. All the people on SSI get their checks. It's food stamp day for some. Thank goodness, I'm starving! To top it all off, it's Fourth of July weekend! So all those happy-go-lucky show-your-spirit Americans have to buy all the hamburger meat and potato salad their carts can hold!

Have I mentioned that I hate holidays? But my friend Gabe did buy me a bottle of rum, so I don't hate today as much right now...I consider this my freedom buzz!

Happy Independence Day!

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Assess This

Job Club is over. And since I haven't found a job, I get to meet with an assessment team, who will...uh, assess me. And my skills, or lack of.

I went on lots of interviews. I know that I don't have any "people problems", I don't have garbage breath, I dress really nicely (I'm a fantastic bargain finder), and I'm really intelligent.

What in the heck is my college education getting me??!!

A whole lotta' nothin'.

Friday, July 01, 2005


I have a friend named Jaime. She's a very good friend, and I love her dearly. However, I am extremely envious of her.
Jaime is the type of girl who can get any job she applies for. Seriously. I have seen it happen! Here is the situation...
Jaime fills out application and turns it in.
One day later, Company calls Jaime at home. Here is what the conversation sounds like from my end...
"Hello?" says Jaime.
"Well, what's the rate of pay?"
"And the hours?"
"Well, I am currently considering an offer from another company." (She's not making that up either)
"Oh, you'll meet their terms?"
"Okay, see you next week!"

How does she do it?