I have a friend who told me something interesting one day. This was when I was trying to get over Hex, and after I was done lamenting about how good the sex was, and will it ever be good again with somebody else blah blah blah, my friend K told me this:
"Of course it will be good with someone else. It will be better sex than sex with Hex!"
(Does anyone else feel like reading Dr. Suess?)
So I wailed on about how nothing could ever top it and a load of other crap (do you see where this is going?) and K told me, "It just keeps getting better and better with other people." And I asked after that comment if that meant I should just slut it up until I died from orgasmic bliss, but she didn't seem to find that amusing. Huh. But she did tell me after that, something to the effect of...well, basically I think she meant that when I care about the person I'm with and not just "getting laid", then the sex will be as good as it is.
(Crap, now we're reading Alice in Wonderland...)
She was right. Which is freaking me out. I was always about the whole, "Oh, sex is sex. Love doesn't have to be involved. Orgasms are good." Which, to a point, is certainly true. And I know the Hex Sex was good because love was involved. But I knew that I was going to fuck other people. I would never have done it behind her back, which is one of the reasons why we are no longer together, but I wanted to sleep with other people. She didn't like it sometimes, but it was important to me. I didn't believe in monogamy.
When I thought it couldn't get any better, I was wrong. Way wrong. Wrong enough to admit it here in print.
I did start having sex with him on a purely physical basis. I thought he was hot and I wanted to fuck him, good. Great. But now I am seeing the appeal of a monogomous relationship <gasp!> with someone for a good long time. I don't feel the need anymore to spout my Monogomy Sucks Speech. Am I growing up? Sideways? What in the hell is happening here??!! It's kinda' scary.