Wipe Yer Ass

I went to the bathroom at work the other day. I go to the bathroom a lot, actually. See, I decided to take up a bad habit, and I chose coffee. I don't like the smell of cigarettes, I cannot afford shoes right now, and being a tweaker doesn't have any appeal. Coffee was a good choice, yes? The caffeine to keep me a little more alert, the warm deliciousness on a cold morning, what could be the downfall? (I'm ignoring the voice that is yelling "caffeine headache! diarrhea!")
The downfall actually being that coffe makes me pee like crazy. I travel down the hallway at work every hour to pee.
The other morning I walked into the unisex bathroom to find....poop on the seat. Seriously, poop on the toilet seat? Who DOES that?!! Who takes a crap, does a shitty wiping job (like that pun?), turns around to flush, and doesn't wipe off the freakin toilet?! Not to mention what's on your ass!
Would you do that at home? Leave your poop on the seat? Nasty nasty. I did NOT use that bathroom. I have not used that bathroom since. I want to hang a sign that reads, "WIPE YER ASS". I wonder how that would go over...